About 5 years ago I was living in Italy with my yoga teachers. It was a huge time of personal transformation for me on many levels (living the yogic lifestyle, getting comfortable with myself as I am etc). The transformation I want to talk about today is my relationship to miracles and faith. I love the Yogi Bhajan quote “I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on them.” It takes a HUGE amount of faith in the Universe to trust that the miracle you need will manifest in your life at the right moment. And that was something that while I always wanted to believe… in my deepest places….I didn’t.
While I was living in Italy my older sister called with the exciting news that she was pregnant with her second child. I wasn’t at all surprised by this as I had had an intuitive insight before I left that she would be having a little girl soon. We were all excited to hear that a new soul had chosen us to be her family. A few weeks later my sister got the results of a test, which indicated the baby may have a serious developmental condition that would effect her ability to grow and develop in a “normal” way. This was, of course, very unsettling news.
When I heard this news I knew right away what I needed to do. I started chanting 11 repetitions of the Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru Mantra every day. I’ve heard people say that this mantra will make miracles happen. After all it is a mantra in celebration of Guru Ram Das, the Lord of Miracles, and I felt like we needed the miracle of a healthy baby. The first few days I chanted I was really hoping it would help….but felt it my heart that it was a lost cause. By the 20th day (or so) I noticed that while I was chanting I really (really!) felt that this baby would be totally healthy. But at other times of day the fear or anxiety of the thought of the challenges this soul may face reared their ugly heads.
Finally, by the 40th day I realized I had completely dropped my fears. I had connected during the meditation to the new soul and I knew, absolutely, that she would be perfect. That she would come into our family and bring joy and that she would live out her destiny exactly as it was written. And that, in and of itself, felt like a miracle. That I was able to drop my fear and feel peaceful felt miraculous to me regardless of the health of this child. But Guru Ram Das wasn’t done…
Flash forward to a few months later: I watched as my beautiful, perfectly healthy niece came into this world. She has no signs of developmental disability and in fact is incredibly smart (This week in school she’s learning about words that rhyme…so she often comes home chanting things like “Lama, Mama. Rhymes!”). While I don’t lay any claim to creating the miracle of a healthy kid…I do feel that I connected to Guru Ram Das in a very meaningful and personal way during this experience. I feel the miraculous love of the Universe more and more each day. And while I still, sometimes, have trouble truly believing that my miracle will come true…. I find it easier now to remember that my prayers have been answered and to rely on God, Guru and/or the Universe to keep answering them. Sat Nam.